So after going through a recent break-up, I found myself standing on the beach at the end of a kite session, at the edge of the shore, feet in the warm water, salty hair hanging wild and free, light breeze blowing around me, and I start thinking, hey, this isn’t so bad after all! I started weighing up the pro’s and con’s and eventually came up with this list of 10 reasons why my kite was way better than any boyfriend! Don’t take it too personally guys!
1 – You’re never going to get bored of riding the same kite, over and over again.
2 – Your kite is never going to wake up one day and tell you it doesn’t love you anymore. Nor is going to waste all the time and effort you have put into the relationship! All that kiting you do will always be a valid experience, you will have learnt new tricks, you will be riding better, and all that investment in your relationship? It will always be valid! Wish we could say the same for all that time invested in dating guys…..
3 – At least when your relationship with your kite comes to an end, you can sell it and use the money for a new, upgraded model.
4 – Your kite is going to take you to more amazing places than any guy ever will! You’re going to fly miles and miles together across the globe, and you won’t ever need to fight about who gets the window seat.
5 – Your kite is always going to keep you fit and healthy, in a way that makes you feel damn good! And it’s definitely never going to get a beer belly or go bald.
6 – Your kite is never going to make you sit on the beach and film it for hours while it endlessly fails to land the latest trick it’s been working on. To the contrary, your kite has your best intentions at heart, and it wants you to have as much time on the water as possible!
7 – Guess what? You’re kite is responsive! How about that? It learns to adapt to you, and listens to your needs. It changes itself instead of trying to change you! Blowing 30 knots and life is feeling rough? Don’t worry, a little de-power and your kite and life in general is fully manageable once again. A boyfriend? Not so much.
8 – You will never have to spend lots of money on expensive gifts for your kite… and with all that money you save you can even go buy yourself a nice new little wetsuit! And guess what? Your kite will never ask you where you got the money to buy that.
9 – You can share your kite with your friends. No weirdness. No jealousy.
10 – Your kite will always make you look hot… your grubby, non-shaven, hipster boyfriend? Not so much.
There you have it ladies… single? No stress… get out there and enjoy your next kite session without a worry in the world.